Your love

My human mind can not comprehend your marvelous works. It can not completely understand the wanders your hands perform. It only can understand what it can. You are marvellous!

As I sit under the shade of the trees looking out towards the mountains afar with the cool calming breeze bouncing off my face, I am of awe of the wonderful, loving and gracious father you are and I feel soo small. I mean you the God of the universe cared for a sinner like me, you know me by name, you see my life right through, you know my thoughts and you know what the future holds for me.

Yet, I fail you every time.

But your love never ceases. You allow the sun to shine and give light and warmth to my days, you allow the wind to blow my way and refreshes my soul, you allow the rain to water the lands and bring forth food to feed my body. Your love endures forever.

The mountains and lofty trees tells of your sustaining love, the cool breeze tells of your never ending grace, the sun tells of your watchful loving eyes on me, the clouds tells of your continuous guidance. The star tells of the your the marvellous plans for my life.

Thank you for your love that always guides, the love that comforts me, the love that always has me in your heart and mind.

Thank you!

Endless cycle ♻️

Woke up with the demons from the past. I hate that I have to think about it, I have that I dreamt about it. I hate that I am anxious about the reasons WHY.

This cycle is non stop. One moment you say your okay, the next you fall back to the state you confidently claim you’re over with.

This state is one that I hate because, I critisis myself like a thef, like someone who has done a serious offense. It’s also challenging especially when you know that you want to share it but don’t want to be judged. It’s like the tide always rising a falling. The endless cycle.

The cycle of endless thought and endless whys that always leave me paralysed by the fact that I keep falling back.

When will this be over??

My heart breaks for you

My heart breaks for you my dear!

She pushes you away, she talks badly of you, she gets annoyed of every little thing you do, she pushes you here and there makes you feel likes it’s all your fault.

When you try to help her, she doesn’t want. Than she says why are you not helping me, why and you keeping your distance..

Everytime I see what she is doing, my heart breaks into a million pieces. I want to stand up for you but I don’t want to be seeing as I’m taking sides. I want to speak up for you but you tell me not to.

You tell me to understand her when she is difficult to understand, you tell me to forgive her when what she said makes me wanna cry, you tell me to be there for her but all she does is push us away..

My heart breaks for you when she does those things to you, but yet you are patient with her, you never let your temper get the hold of you. Yet you still love her regardless.

How it breaks my heart to see her treat you like that.

My heart just breaks, and all I can do is cry in silence for you.

My heart breaks for you!

Living simple

All I wanted and still want is to live a simple life. A life that is full of love, appreciation, forgiveness, teamwork and family.

Having everything doesn’t necessarily mean wealth, social status or popularity. It’s the simple things that makes life full. It’s the:

Love you get from the people around you.

Support that encourages you to do your best and aim high.

Forgiveness and understanding that makes you learn from your mistakes.

And family and friends who stand beside you through good and bad times.

Life is meaningful with the simple things.

Do not ever let yourself fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others because we are all unique and our life journeys are different .

Appreciate who you are and what you have, because life is amazingly beautiful when it’s appreciated and simple.

If I were a boy

If I were a boy;

I would never leave you in suspense, I would communicate clearly what I want in a respectful way.

I would message you everyday to check up on how things are going.

I would tell you your beautiful, not because I want something from you, but because you are beautiful, period!

I would make my intentions known, my feelings for you and communicate what my likes and dislikes are, what makes me happy or sad and how you make me feel.

I would appreciate the person you are because your amazing.

I would celebrate your achievements whether big or small not because I want to look good, but because your achievements encourages me.

I would never ask you to change, I will love and admire you for who you are.

I will listen, when life/work/family is overwhelming I will listen.

If I were a boy.

#appreciate #women #beautiful

In His time

Where do I start?

This week has been both amazing and terrifying. There were times I wanted to give up and there were times I wanted to live in the moment.

But the highlight was how God came through for me. He thought me to always depend on him even when I thought the load was too heavy, it is not heavy for him. Than I experienced him, in an instant he answered my pray and lighten the load that was on my shoulders.

Words can not explain how amazing my father in heaven is.

All I can say is that my God is amazing, his timing is perfect and that he is always there to carry our loads.

He came through!

Yesterday, and the days before were soo cloudy even though the sun here in Port Moresby (Papua New Guinean) was hot. I was cold, I had the chills and couldn’t breath and think with a clear mind, all because I was anxious and worried alot.

I lost myself for a moment, I had episodes of blank thoughts and caught myself day dreaming alot. It was difficult to even put a smile on my face and I dread the question “how are you”, that simple question was soo hard to answer. But I dug deep with all my strength, gave a beautifully fake smile and said “I’m good thank you”. I never thought I would struggle to respond to that simple question, but I did.

Who is this person, I didn’t even recognise myself, even when I look into the mirror. I saw a scared, and anxious young woman who was like a hermit crab that crawls back into its shell when face with a slight light of laughter and love. She was someone I never saw and never thought existed. All she could do was to worry and cry.

But deep down there was a fire of hope that was struggling to light up but wasn’t given the space to burn. The cold winds around kept putting the fire off. That was when I told myself to not prepend that everything was okay when it wasn’t.

With no one to talk to without the fear of being judgement, I got on my knees.

On my knees I felt small, I felt free, I felt comforted, I felt I could say things as they are and not cover up. I took the chance and told God every thing I could without sugar coating them. While on my knees God came through, showing and telling me I am not alone and that his plan for my life is not worrying, feeling scared or anxious but of happiness in its true form. Life of love, forgiveness, laughter and days full of sun shine. He was there!

I can not find the words to describe how he came through for me, and yes he did. In his scriptures, songs, prayers, in my family and my friends, he founds ways to show me I was loved and that he knows exactly what I was going through and feels what I am feeling deep down in my dark caved heart.

He came through, giving me strength and telling me to give him everything and to depend on him with faith and believe that everything was going to be okay. And than, I felt a peace that I never felt before, peace from above that erased all the second guessing, worrying, anger and hurt. He came through! His timing is always perfect.

My God is amazing, loving and has the best plan for me and you. And he thought me to lean on him and him alone, because I can not do it on my own. I needed and still need his divine hands to carry me across this rugged ridge of these negative emotions.

All we could do is to be like Peter and ask for his help, he is always there to help.

He came through!

Amazing father

Lately I have been fighting my battles, I felt lost, I felt overwhelmed, I felt like sinking, I felt anxious and I was hurt.

But God never left my side, with his still small voice he kept encouraging me to give every thing to him, to give him my burden and carry his yoke. How amazing are your works.

In my down and hurting time I was not alone, he feels the pain and hurt and understands what I was and am going through.

With non stop tears, he was there. He gave me peace, comforted me and assured me that it will all be okay. All I need to do was to trust him.

There is comfort when you get on your knees. While on my knees I felt him there, comforting me when it was overwhelming and all I could do was cry. The tears raced down my cheek one after the other (non stop). He was there

How amazing is our father in heaven. He is 100 steps ahead preparing our happy ending to this challenge and struggle.

In everything I do and everything that happened, may he get all the praise.

Friendship

“Blood is thicker than water” we all use this quote everytime when we talk about our family. Yes it’s true blood is thicker than water.

Yet Solom exclaims that “there is a friend who is closer than a brother” Pro 18:24

While we can not pick the family we are born into, we can pick our friends (who becomes like family) so it’s essential that we pick wisely.

Friendship constitutes one of the most important type of relationship in our lives. Sharing mutual affection with someone increases our chances of being happy and find fulfilment. It’s no wander we were created social, emotional beings who thrive in healthy close relationships.

I’m enough

I’m enough!

They are two simple words, but every girl should believe in it. You are more than enough.

If you are forced against your will to change the way you dress, talk, walk, what you eat, the people you associate with than it’s not worth it. Darling please remember that you are more than enough. If He can not see it, don’t try your best to make him see.

He should appreciate you for who you are, not for what he wants you to be.

You are Enough, tell yourself “I’m enough” until you believe it because you are more than Enough.